My New Religion

I just picked a religion this morning, and I decided on The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (see car logo on the left). The Flying Spaghetti Monster was established after bible thumpers decided to come up with 'intelligent design' to skirt the courts' rulings against creationism being taught in public schools as a science. This movement uses ambiguous references to an unspecified intelligent creator. What a crafty way to get around using the word God.

Even craftier was Bobby Henderson who professes a belief in a supernatural creator that resembles spaghetti and meatballs, which fits quite nicely into the profile for 'intelligent design.' Sayeth our prophet Bobby, "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

Prophet Bobby goes on to mock intelligent design's assertion that correlation implies causation by creating a chart linking the decline of pirates since the 1800s to the increase in global warming, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. Bobby points to Somalia as his case and point: it has the highest number of pirates and the lowest carbon emissions of any country. So there!

Look people, I'm all for everyone's right to worship the religion of their choice. But the place to teach your kids your religious principles is not in a public school biology classroom. That's what your church is for.