Library Books SUCK!

So this past weekend I decided to get a library card and start checking out books for free instead of single handedly keeping my local Barnes & Noble afloat. (They know me by name - I'm in there way too much.) While I enjoy the free reading, I'm grossed out at the books themselves.

Let's start with the fact that about every third page of all the books I've read so far are dog eared. How rude is that?! These aren't your books so why would you purposely damage them? I guess because the general population at large is too lazy to find a scrap piece of paper. I mean, it would be way too difficult to use the receipt you get every time you check out a book as your bookmark. Better to just bend the corners of the pages at will.

While the bent page corners make me angry, the weird and mysterious stains on about a third of each book makes me sick to my stomach. Some stains are identifiable. There was mustard on about 15 consecutive pages of a book I read yesterday (I wish I was joking). There are also the Cheeto/Dorito thumbprints on very large number of pages of many books. I guess wiping your hands, much less washing your hands, is way too inconvenient, especially for the people who can't use a bookmark.

But the absolute worst are those disgusting brownish booger-looking stains that were in every single book I've read so far, and in some books more than once. WTF?! That just gives me the heebie-jeebies. What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with people?! I'm thoroughly disgusted. Every time I get up from reading I wash my hands. God knows what kind of cooties you can catch from the crap is on the covers and pages. Did I say crap? Uh-oh. One more reason to get totally grossed out.

Seriously, some scientists should study the contaminates on library books. I'd bet a million dollars their findings would be astonishing. Then again, if I had a million dollars I'd just go to Barnes & Noble and buy all my books.